Working Through The Noise

I find it difficult understand what anyone is saying when the TV or radio is on in the background. I stutter when speaking under pressure in a debate or difficult conversation. When I’m performing on the keys and I see ‘Cm/F’ on my music chart, I literally have to write in small letters above each note (right hand/left hand) because I can never remember which hand goes where and I feel panicked. I had a speech impediment growing up so I had extra help with ESL teachers in school. It took me twice as long to earn my degree. I took some tests and came to the realization that I probably have dyslexia. I thought it was only about switching words around but it’s more than that. Through all of the mental noise, I kept going. In a sense, it made me try even harder, study longer and push myself more because I knew I had to put in a little extra to understand.

Work through the noise.

As a musician, I always thought I was a fraud, I’m not that good and I’ll never live up to be a real musician. Growing up, I was told I wasn’t the best singer. I would audition for parts and would never get them. I found it difficult to see the notes on the paper and really comprehend what I was seeing. Instead of throwing in the towel, I knew I had my work cut out for me so I practiced longer and harder.

As I write these piano songs for Begin Again, I find it funny listening back because I know exactly what was going on as I was writing them. Song 4 was written when I was mad at my husband for something (surprisingly it’s one of the more positive sounding songs haha!) Songs 1-2 were written on the piano while I was bouncing Gabi with my left foot and ‘hey bear’ was playing the back. Song 3 was written as Gabi starting crying several times mid recording. Another song has birds in it because I was watching Gabi on the baby monitor and the sound machine had bird noises in the background. I thought to myself, wow that’s exactly what the song needs.

Work through the noise.

Even if it takes you twice as long to get there, keep going because it’s so worth it in the end. Life isn’t just about the end result, it’s about the journey. Sure the finish line is sweet but we must enjoy the process if we really want to enjoy our lives.

So work through the noise and keep going. You’ve got this!

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