'Ride the Wave' is something my therapist told me to do. Ride the wave I asked? What does that even mean? It means that sometimes we have to just ride out and sit in our feelings sometimes. Like a wave, the feeling doesn't last forever.
It's hard to believe that 2020 was two years ago; where did the time go? I think it's safe to say that we all had a collective traumatic experience. With every month passing, hope was slowly fading and things were getting more difficult. As a new mother, I had imagined my first few years planning play dates, planning fun birthday parties and cool trips. One by one, everything was cancelled and I was left alone to deal with my feelings. I started feeling a darkness creep inside my head; this darkness lingered and was accompanied by thoughts I had never experienced before.
I tried to pull myself out of the deep and dark well by volunteering for a non-profit, working part-time, finding a new church, and seeking help from a therapist. All of these things collectively helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. My therapist recommended that I get outside more - talk a walk and start journaling. So I did just that. I challenged myself to 100 days of creating. I created a new song and a video to journal my days. Some days I felt like complete garbage and had to drag myself out of bed, but other days I felt as light as a feather. My new album, Waves is a musical diary of the wave of emotion I felt during the year 2020. The order of the album depicts the cycle of thoughts that I experienced: Empty Shadows, The Verge, Peace Box, Keep Going, The Grey, Safe Place, It's Okay.
Empty Shadows: that feeling of emptiness that is paralyzing both mentally and physically
The Verge: literally on the verge of breaking through the noise and getting out of the dark
Peace Box: when someone or something reminds you that there is hope. My therapist told me to gather items, photos, and songs that brought joy to my life and put it in a peace box.
Keep Going: knowing that you can fight another day and keep moving forward
The Grey: the step back - everything seemed to be getting better but then you start to fall back
Safe Place: where you go to reset and recharge your mind. Personally, this is to sit by any body of water
It's Okay: a reminder that through the noise & darkness, you will be okay so don't lose hope
So please don't give up - ride the wave a little longer and seek help if you ever feel the darkness. The battle of anxiety and depression doesn't go away just because you took a walk, prayed or saw a therapist for 6-weeks.
Thank you for your continued support & I hope you all enjoy listening to WAVES!
Tara Anne Chugh
Listen to Waves Here: https://smarturl.it/p0qrc5